I've been reading the book You are a Badass by Jen Sincero.
I'm pretty sure Jen is my spirit animal. She's snarky. She's spiritual. And she full on gets what it takes to knock it out of the ballpark.
One nugget of badassery from the book is about our relationship to money:
In order to bring money joyfully into our lives, we have to understand that we’re having a relationship with it, and then treat it like any other important and meaningful relationship: we need to pay attention to it, want it, nurture it, put effort into it, respect it, cherish it, love it, etc.
A day or so before I read that passage, I came across the concept of writing a love note to money. Clearly I was meant to try my hand at it. I was ready to see my relationship with money for what it was, and to see we could stand to hug it out.
I started the letter with "Dear Money," and proceeded to reminisce about our life together. The good, the bad, the mediocre, the lovely. I took ownership for my role in our relationship and talked about how to move forward on more stable and loving ground.
When all was said and done, I uncovered a host of unhealthy beliefs and even more old stories that I was holding onto.
I got real with myself and identified every false reward I got out of the deal (attention! love! protection! an excuse!), and was able to look those beliefs square in the eyes and tell them to get lost. They weren't welcome in the house that money and I had built anymore.
In the end, money and I hashed it out and built an even stronger foundation for our relationship. We are more loving, supportive, and generous with each other. And we are happy.
Pen your own love letter.
This is probably one of the more powerful writing exercises I've done in a long time. I feel lighter, more tuned into my own wants and needs, and more excited about what lies ahead than I've been in a really long time.
I also know that it can be hard to get started, so wanted to give you a template for digging in yourself.
Our relationship has been a _________ one. It's been filled with ______________ (love, happiness, anxiety, stress, hatred, resentment, etc.). I remember _____________ (write every memory you have about money, positive and negative).
As I've gotten older, I've realized that I've played a role in this, too. I've ______________ (insert ways you've sabotaged yourself or actively pushed money away).
The truth is, we both want the same things: _________________ (share what you want inyour life). By partnering together we really can have the best of both worlds. We can look out for each other, provide for each other, and help each other live life to the fullest.
Thank you for always being there for me, no matter what I've said or done. Your generosity and kindness is inspiring and I look forward to a long and happy future together.
I'd love to hear what you learn from the process. Feel free to share your a-ha's in the comments below. Or, if you'd rather keep it more private, feel free to shoot me an email.